Why do I have to be the crab?

It is weird how sometimes horoscopes seem to make sense. I like to read them for the heck of it sometimes but today's was insanely accurate to how I feel
And for those of you who don't know I am a cancer! lol (july 17)
"You may feel as if you are right, but explaining your point of view can be quite a challenge. It's not that you are an ineffective communicator; it's just that your feelings are outside the normal sphere of language. There just aren't any words to describe the subtlety of your emotions. Talking about them can actually alter your mood and change the direction of your day..."
Thats kind of creepy cause thats all me right there.

Marry me Jack?

Saw Pirates 3 the other night. LOVE LOVE LOVED IT! It was a twist and there were a few parts where I had to turn away, but over all I really liked it.

I think there is something wrong with me

I am always so paranoid about everything! Did I lock the door? I run back to check the door like 5 times before I can go anywhere. Did I turn off the stove? I know I did...but did I? I have to check everything or it bugs me for hours! I think of all the negative outcomes and it scares me! I think I need to see a doctor?

Once again

Drama drama drama! I hate it with a passion! I enjoy hating it!
On another note...I am a little jealous of my friends who get along so well with their boyfriends families. I think that I am so frustrated from being pushed out of mine that I hoped Lances family would be big loving and would accept me and love me like they were my own. But it's almost...nonexistent. And I can never seem to talk to my family without arguing over something stupid, or they are still holding things against me that happened years ago like they always did. I sometimes feel... very alone.
All I feel that I have for a family is Lance sometimes.

UHHHGGG!

I think people seriously stress me out, expecially at work. That might be why I am always striving to be alone. People are rude, anoying and stupid!
...My head hurts and I feel light headed. I'm going to bed.

So I haven't seen a doctor in years and the more time goes by, the more I fear going in to see one. I am so scared they are going to find something wrong with me. But it looks like I am going to have to. I had an allergic reaction to mold and my throat swelled up. I had a hard time breathing like there was a cork in my throat after cleaning some up. I had heard from some people that my reactions could get worse and worse and I could suffocate. I need to go to a doctor to get medicine so next time it wont have the potential to really hurt me.

I'm just a little confused right now

My birth mother came into my work the other day to hand me some things to remember my Grandfather...I haven't seen this lady in over 6 years. She hurt and abandoned me as a kid and then decided to come waltzing in to my work acting like everything is ok... I hardly recognized her in fact I didn't at first. Just like when my cousin Nate came in...I haven't seen him in an even longer amount of time, but it didn't bother me like seeing my mother did. Then she started to cry on my shoulder... I just patted her back... how do I comfort someone who has hurt me so much? I don't even know who this woman is anymore. I only saw an old withered lonely woman... And shes only 42. I want to feel sorry for her, but I don't. Am I really that black hearted or am I justified to feel this way after what I went through?
I on't know how I should feel about the whole thing. Maybe if I ignore it it will go away? Haha I wish.

So last thursday

...I went to see Spiderman 3 with some people from work, and mehhh ... It was ok. I love Spiderman, but I think they jumped back and forth between way to many villains in my opinion. Like I think they should have focused on a little more venom and maybe some Harry but the sand man could have been saved for another move (since it cleaned out the box office they are hinting for 3 more sequels) And if I may add what happened to harry really pissed me off because he was my favorite Character in all three of the movies.