So I had my first class today

We were 15 minuets late,
The Teacher was 30

But over all I loved the class. It's my fist class ever in college so it all feels like a huge deal to me.
I feel exited about something. That doesn't happen to often anymore.

I feel like hurting you...

I am upset right now with life and it's constant unfairness...

Today I got pulled into the managers office and as I was listening to what they were telling me I was literally in shock.

I have been having issues with the fact that I have been picking up extra slack at work for people who choose not to do it themselves. ( whom all will remain nameless)

Especially when the get credited for the work that I did!

And as for closing I for one like to get out on time, I hate staying until all hours of the night because people can't finish their own work, sometimes we have pig like customers that make it hard but most of the time this is not the case.

Basically I was told that even though one employee gives zero effort and another gives 400% as long as the work gets done that is all that matters. There is nothing that I myself can do about it but suck it up and do the other persons work...

Where is the fairness in that? What the Hell is wrong with this world? All I could ask myself all day is why am I even trying?

Why do I even care if I get these 5 projects that no one decided to help me with all day. It's OBVIOUSLY not that big of a deal, so I guess I just shouldn't get my self all worked up over it.

So I didn't do it.


Unfortunately I am not wound that way.

She also told me that I seem unhappy where I am at...

Not shit Sherlock...

I need to smile more they told me

It gets hard trying to fake it all the time...

It's getting bad

I am trying to hold out.

If I can just wait till the 21 of this month quitting will be justified.

But work among other things is starting to wear me down, I really hate my job because I have discovered that I really dislike people.

They are rude, pigheaded, liars, thieves, and just plain out stupid enough to make a slug look like a graduated student from Yale.

I have noticed that the more I am forced to be there the more irrational I start thinking.
My life just plain sucks right now, and I think that the only thing making me think strait is knowing how my choices will affect the people that love me and think of me (which to me right now doesn't seem like very many) and my faith in the fact that God has something better planed for me.

And above all I am a smarter person than that. I know there are other paths even though they are harder and well hidden.

I am not trying to scare you guys and I only really writing this because I am hoping that buy reading it over again It will help me think clearer.

So for those of you who care (and God of course),

thank you for saving my life.