Issues

So I am having a few issues with my laptop but hopefully I got all the bugs fixed.

I am really fighting myself not to break down and buy the Macbook Pro, even though eventually I know I am going to have to get a mac.

But after having to flush my laptop and almost start over it feels like I have a new computer again...only it's old. lol

My little old man is still kickin ( :

But on top of all that I love my laptop. It was a birthday gift from Lance and it's a very good comp just out dated. I figure if I take good care of it still it will last me a good deal longer.

I have been looking up job postings for graphic design workers needed and I am surprised at how many job in that field are in the Portland area. I always get frustrated when people tell me that I will HAVE to move for my job simply because there is no work in the field around here.

And I have to say that after a confidence booster I am hugely inspired by tashihandmade.com
Not only is this person have incredible skill but they have experience in designing world wide. It's very inspiring.

I want to continue working at what I want to do and I am going to stop letting other people discouraging me.

God has made me capable of doing what I want to do.

Expansion

Just watched an interview with blizzard for the expansion, Wrath of the Litch King. And I think I am going to enter the art contest for Arthas and Frostmourne. Doubt I will win because there is some major talent entering and my skills are really not up to par yet...

Yes I play WoW. Not to many girls do I find. I am not a hard core player... I mean it did take me 2 years to get to 70... But my boyfriend is a big WoW Freak and got me to play, and it took me a long time to get into it. But now that I got it down I really like it, good game, always changing to make it worth paying $15 a month for it. Unfortunately some people take it WAY to seriously and become addicted to the game itself.... come on, It's a game people!

Anyways, that's all for now.

Here's something

... Important to say. I hate, hate, HATE, the kind of people to trash talk or dislike something just because it's popular

Like people who

Hate myspace because everyone else has one.

Refuse to by and ipod because Apple is too popular.

Wont drink at starbucks because thats where everyone gets their coffee so lets go to a different place even though theirs tastes like crap.

Mustangs just because who doesn't have one on the road?

Hair cuts, Clothes, drinks, tv shows, you name it.

You should only dislike something because it doesn't do it for YOU, not because the rest of the world likes it.
Now I am all about supporting the underdogs but hating something for the sake of being different is really pathetic.

Who cares if everyone else has one. Have one because you want one. Or go with what ever the heck you want.

As far as I am concerned your just as bad as people who flock to what everyone else has for the sake of popularity, because on you quest to be different you yourself have let other peoples opinions tell you what to do and buy.

And I think your lame

Goodbye hours

So my hours at work have drastically been chopped in half. About this time of year that happens but we have so many ( Lazy) New hires that I still don't see me getting all of my hours back.

So I am ONCE again seriously looking for a new job. I think I have been saying that for way over a year now but I mean it this time! I swear.... Maybe...

I am so poor right now that I haven't gone out and done ANYTHING. Someone needs to come over and save me from my boredom before I start ripping out hair!!!

I can olny play so much Mario Kart Wii by myself for so long.

Update, update, update

I bought a printer today from work for 30 bucks because it was the last one...amazing! I only had to print out one thing but now that I have a printer I just want to print.... I want to print something, Anything!

I entered an art contest but I wont know if I won or lost until the 5th... I can kind of see that I am not a winner though because there was some pretty amazing entries and mine looks as though it would have come out better if I did it in crayon... maybe.

And the only think that I have accomplished on my 8 days off was finally hitting lvl 70. Other that that I have done jack diddly, and it has been amazing.

I really needed a vaca even though my hours have been chopped in half. People at work are driving me insane. It just amazes me what some of the new hires get away with and they are still working there. And it really makes the rest of us ( or at least me) feel used because we are working hard for our money and getting paid just as much as the people who are standing around talking and flipping there cell phone out on the floor and texting in front of the customers.
Or asking for help and then walking away when we are doing all of their work for them.

It's very annoying. Especially when they are walking away to flirt with your boyfriend. I just want to ask, "are you for real?"

...

Yeah when I get where I'm going,
there'll be only happy tears.
I will shed the sins and struggles,
I have carried all these years.
And I'll leave my heart wide open,
I will love and have no fear.
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
Don't cry for me down here....

But when I get where I'm going,
and I see my Maker's face.
I'll stand forever in the light,
of His amazing grace.

Weather you believed it or not you were loved by the people that mattered most and they miss you more than you could probably ever have comprehended before you took your life.

I just pray your with God now.
Rest in peace.

That feeling

When your eyes water and your heart jumps to your throat,
because you see the joy in a person after something great finally happened for them, and to someone who really deserved it.

I feel that way because I am trying to fight back tears because seeing that makes me so happy.

Finally

I have finished the last of the HP books. And I have to say that I am satisfied with how the story flowed and ended all together.
Although the Epilogue kind of made it seem that there is the possibility of a continuation.
Which would be fine by me.

on another note I'm getting pretty flustered at people calling me thinking that I am someone else. IF you listen to my voice message you will hear me say that this is NATASHA. Not Dory not Don... N A T A S H A.

I am constantly getting phone calls from the machine voice bill collectors and it's really annoying because I can't tell them that they have the wrong number! All I can do is hang up.

I am therefore going to switchover to Verizon because of the many problems I have having with my current service and my worthless RAZR. I'm going to try to get the new enV2 which looks pretty nice ( in my opinion and is supposedly not so expensive) when it comes out, which could be as late as the end of May.

So I will be getting a new phone number with it.
that is all...

I don't want to be a lifer!!!

The more and more that I think about going to school the more I get exited about it.
But the more I think about what I want to go to school for makes me scared of it.

I honestly sometimes feel like I don't have what it takes to get a good job in that field.
Everyone tells me how hard it is... it's really discouraging.
One of my parents friends told me that I shouldn't even bother going back to school at all and it's too late for me. And that I should just try to jump on the Fred Meyer Train, I don't want to be a Fred Meyer lifer though... And what an awful thing to tell me! I am not even 21 yet! how is it too late for me to go back to school?
My opinion is that it's never too late.
And I need to learn not to listen to things like that and get discouraged.


Maybe thats why I procrastinate.
I don't think that I have what it takes but for the sake of not listening to my own advice...
I'll never know if I don't try.

Right?

Step aside T-mobile I'm going to Verizon

Wow Last night I was so dizzy and tired I actually passed out on my kitchen floor.
And of course lance had to wake me up by jabbing me with his dirty foot.

But I feel a lot better now.

And I am still loving FFCC

Final Fantasy

I am in love with the new Final Fantasy for the PSP. Crisis Core.
Freaking amazing... So what if Adam and Morgan gave it an unsatisfying review. Doesn't mean that I agree with them.

But maybe it's because I have always been a huge FF7 fan.

And on another note,
I have dyed my hair Red, Black and many shades of brunette but now I'm giving blond a shot.

Stephanie Don't hate me...

And on a third note...
I think I may be the only person I know that updates my blog persistently, and that kind of makes me sad.
Because I love reading what you all have to say.

And what ever happened to emials?
Does anyone ever email anymore? I love emails.

And I never get any : (

We talked

I was afraid that he wouldn't listen to what I had to say.
I thought that I was going to have to just call it quits
But I let it out and I told him how I feel.

Some serious changes need to happen with or with out him.
And I need an answer.
I'm not going to wait forever.
But it went a little better than I thought it would
I hope I am taken seriously.

Because I am not going to wait forever.

I want to make a post

But I am not really sure what it is that I want to say.
I am very irritated right now
Flustered, confused, hurt.

It's like my feelings split into two and are fighting it out for my emotions. I can't really tell what I want and what is better for me. I have no backbone when it comes to my own well being!!!

I like change but I am terrified of it.
I like being happy even though I know that happiness fades, but weather or not I put my self in the position to be happy more often is my choice.

I don't want to make the wrong choice because my mind is saying let go but my heart is saying don't you dare...

I am in love

With Tegaki E ... so much fun if you like to doodle.. I think I may actually invest in a tablet though. I have been wanting one anyways.

http://www.unowen.net/tegaki/index.php

It's really irritating

When people seem to brag openly about their problems to others.

Personally somethings are meant to be shared with people you can trust. If it's something that hurts that much why would you just openly announce it to people you hardly know? or tell people that you cut yourself for it.
We are not feeling sorry for you because you look like your just trying to get attention from people.

And what really makes me mad is that there are people out there who have been through a lot and they live with those memories and then someone comes along and starts talking about their issues like they have it worse in the world. They have no idea how that makes people feel.

So keep your problems to yourselves and when you do need to share your problems share it with people you know and care about you.

And remember that people may seem to have everything going for them but everyone has their share of issues weather they choose to share it with you or not.

Be considerate.

So I am a huge animal lover...

I created a post on myspace that I want people to see this. It's horrifying and it's hard to fight back tears while watching the video.

I am not going to stream the video on here because I never want to see it again or even finish watching it.

But here is the link to the website

http://www.furisdead.com/feat/ChineseFurFarms/

If you purchase real animal fur you make me sick. You need to know what you are supporting.

My thoughts on abortion

So here is the deal.
Me and a friend were talking about abortion and I really didn't know what to say. She was very against the idea of killing an unborn child that was created against it's own will.

So here is what I think, after a lot of thought I agree that it is not fair that the child will not be born into the world after being created. It never asked for you two to get it on but instead it has to suffer for it. And when I say suffer I mean it. Just because it doesn't cry out in pain does not mean that there is not proof that the forming baby will show it is in pain. I will not go over it because it is painful to think about.

But if you think about it, there is no way that you can get rid of it abortion. If you think about the consequences, there are already way to many people out there that are not fit to be parents. Kids grow up taking care of themselves. That adds crime and mentally unstable people running around. Now I am not saying that if you kid is a black sheep that your a bad parent because you never know how they are going to come out. But neglect and abuse will bring a whole new world of problems. Then on top of that think about the increase of children that will be left for adoption? There is already a large number of children out there that are looking for a family to love them.

So therefore I think sadly abortion is a way of this world because people are careless and they do not think of the consequences.

I'm not I swear!

It seems like the only time that I ever post something is when I am really angry or upset about something.

This is my way of letting off some steam.

So believe me when I say that I am not an angry person I swear!

So to start off, I am really disappointed with the way things went tonight at work. I think I am about due for vacation because this stress cannot be good for me.

The Last 4 days at work I have had a massive headache that no pill can seem to cure, and it just wont go away until I fall asleep. That is If I can even fall asleep because the pain just irritates me.

I have had a lot on my mind about things that I don't really want to post but I feel like I want to talk to someone else about it. Like over coffee or something.

I'm kind of exited for Valentines though. I have close to no money right now because I am trying to pay off a huge mistake that branched into several. But I am planing something very special for him, so I cannot wait.
This month is also our two years together on the 23.
2 years of moments thinking it would last through what it did, but here we are now.

I am also thinking that I need to start calling my friends since they will not call me. Because I miss them all terribly.

Thats all,
Goodnight

I am gonna say no

Yesterday night on the news I was watching something pretty disturbing.

They say that it is as small as a grain of rice and it's a microchip that they inject into you body with all of you personal information.
That doesn't sit right with me. Then on top of that me and a guy I work with were discussing it and he said he would send me a link for a video that had more information on the topic.

the Video mentioned that in the future the chips may become mandatory...

After watching that, I now know that I REALLY do not like it.

On top of that it said that they want to merge the America with Canada and Mexico making us one whole and our currency would change and it will go by another name.

The whole idea of that kind of scares me. It sounds like a disaster waiting to just explode.

And having a microchip floating around in my body makes me feel exposed. Uncomfortable and personally I think big brother has enough control as it is. But that is just my personal opinion.

I am hoping that all of this is just one big rumor. Although I saw the Chips on TV myself so the rest of the information I received almost sounds believable.

you can watch it for yourself if you would like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuBo4E77ZXo&feature=related

I miss you

I really miss my friends

I miss Rachel
I miss Olivia
I miss Alyssa and Stephanie
I miss Mai
and I miss Erica
I miss Brandon and Ryan
I miss Malcolm
And so many other people that I considered my friends and some that I still do. I wont take forever putting all their names down.

I think back and I remember all those fake friends and the friends that I loved to hang out with, and the friends that were there for me.

And I really miss them all
I miss all of you and I wish that things could be the way they used to be

I could walk two houses down and hang out
Spend Lunch time in the hall
Having sleep overs and talking about boys
Trying to catch a movie by bus and missing the first 10 minuets.

When we didn't have class together we would write each other note instead of writing our papers.

Goofing off all day and night for a week and doing and entire class project the morning before it's due.
Talking about love like we knew what we were saying.
Coming over and playing mario kart.
Going for walks and talking about life.

Saying that we will always be friends....

I miss you all...